God, The Great Orchestrator

18 months ago, we had just adopted The Stunt Man and were days away from adopting The Diva. Our foster care agency wanted to know what our plans were after her adoption. They make us take a mandatory 3 month break, during which we are inactive foster parents, just so our family can adjust to the idea of forever.

Now I thought this was silly (read: stupid) but honestly, if you do foster parent, you get used to temporary, and trying to comprehend that your precious kiddo is going to stay FOREVER and there will be no more asking permission to use nasal drops or filling out med logs or weekly progress notes...well, it takes some getting used to. Its like trying to understand eternal life when we live in such a finite world.

Michael and I were both very unsure how to answer the agency. For over 2 years our life was 100% devoted to foster parenting, and we ate, drank and slept it. I don't know that we were really burnt out, but it was like the Big Guy up there at the faucet turned our passion for foster parenting off with no warning. We had no explanation and felt really unsure about ANYTHING!

But because foster parenting is what we did, we took another kiddo. He was a little redheaded bundle of cuteness. I mean...I've ALWAYS wanted a red-headed baby.  And he...oh my goodness...he's PRECIOUS!

The night he came, I knew something was just off. It felt immediately like it wasn't meant to be. Again, no explanation. It was like we felt called to say "yes" to bringing him home, and as soon as he was home, I immediately felt like he was supposed to be with someone else.  C'mon God?  What is going on with me? Why do I feel so strongly about this, like I'm holding someone else's baby?

Can you imagine my guilt?

Days later, medical equipment was being delivered to our house. He was on constant oxygen that we had to carry around. He was also on an apnea monitor AND a heart/o2 monitor. We almost had no room on our body to actually carry the baby. It was like flash back to being in the ICU with The Stunt Man, with the alarms going off all night, taping tubes to his body, and such. Except this time, The Stunt Man and The Diva were trying to UNPLUG his monitors! Oh MY!

At that time, I also had a lump in my chest the size of a tennis ball. I get benign lumps all the time, but they generally do not protrude out of my body like that. I needed outpatient surgery and a surgical biopsy on another lump at the same time.

We made the difficult decision to let Baby K go. Logically it made sense we weren't what was best for him, but we adored this guy!

To make a long story shorter, precious K went to a cute young couple an hour north of us. They were with our agency but had never been called when he needed placement the first time. I met them and felt immediately that they were to be his parents....period.

He left us a day before my surgeries and that was much harder for me than the impending procedures and potential results. But I knew he was in great hands, and I knew I was in HIS hands, too.

Here we are a year later...K is 18 months old and thriving. His health is perfect. He is soon to be adopted by the loving foster parents, and they recently had a baby girl!

There is NO doubt in mind that if we had not accepted care of K, he would not be with his parents right now. I don't know why it worked out that way that he went from one home to our home to their home, but maybe all of that was necessary to draw the 3 families together in fellowship? His mom has become a wonderful friend and I adore this family.

It always amazes me how God orchestrates all this, tying in of these intricate details to make a fellowhip of believers in the potential and value of children. We become family.

God, you just amaze me.