GYNO

I have no life news. Nothing going on. I like it that way. Boring makes me happy. Holla!


It is cold. I know, I know it is January. But the wind-chill is 11 today and it is going below zero at night the next few days. I'm going to keep my butt inside if at all possible.

Except for today, I have to go to see the gyno. How come no one ever facebooks about "Time to go have my pelvic exam?" I would rather go to the dentist, honestly, but I will go and try not to blush. I think I will have to shower today and shave my legs, though. Maybe my arm pits, too. She probably wouldn't notice, though, because my legs are pretty gross with bloody scabs right now. Psoriasis is painful this time of year, but I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO thankful (in tears, thankful) that none of my children have to deal with psoriasis. Anyway, gyno. Nothing like having a warm spot-light on what your momma told you to keep covered up at all times. But you know what is most stinking awesome? I get to look at happy little pregnant couples in the waiting room. Aren't the first-timers totally cute? I still ask God to give me a double miracle and 1) let my hubby make me pregnant 12 years after a vasectomy, and 2) let me carry a healthy pregnancy. I even spent half a day convincing myself I could adopt unused embryos and carry twins through to term. Cost is far less prohibitive than domestic adoption. But it is just not responsible. But anyway, the gyno. Yeah.

Oh, we did receive a call the other night for a shaken baby. We didn't call back because we were talking about something very serious (my hubby and I), it was family time, and frankly, I am entirely positive the baby was "neurologically devastated," and that is something we asked them not to call us about. I just couldn't listen to how heartbreaking the story is. Because I want to help, but I know I just can't take care of a 10 month old who lays limp on the floor and give my 4 children what they need. It is so heartbreaking. Really, I feel like I am the worst person in the world. But it isn't about me, it is about what is best for THAT child (which is not me) and what is best for my forever children. I know from experience that if a home is not found for the very ill or neurologically devastated, they place them in a specialized hospital or group home with nursing care. And I think that is best.