No Opportunity Wasted

This phrase keeps running over and over in my head.

It all started with watching a PBS interview with James Cameron in the middle of the night as I was knitting a few weeks ago. It was brought up that he started doing deep-sea documentaries and other weird stuff right after Titanic (weak paraphrase). I kinda wondered the same thing. Did making Titanic just make him obsessed with sunken ships and such? The host was implying that since Cameron has such a talent for creating blockbusters, why was he sort of "wasting his time" on weird stuffHe clearly could have stayed on course and released Avatar 5 years after Titanic and raked in all kinds accolades and money.

What was Cameron's answer? He said he does enjoy making sensational movies. But, he can write, produce, and direct probably through his 70's. But he can't go down deep in the sea in a pressurized personal sub at 79. So in essence, he prioritized based on his abilities NOW vs. his abilities in the future.

This really spoke to me and I talked to my husband about it. In the past few months, I don't care about much of anything other than my family. In fact, I am so inclined to just sit around playing with them, I am becoming a bit of a slob. I procrastinate more than I ever have before. I just want to hang out with my family. They are my #1 priority, second only to my devotion and adoration for the Lord.

I always thought I would want to write a book. I wanted to get my doctorate in Marriage and Family Therapy. I wanted to be a criminal profiler. I wanted to be a family photographer. None of these things even matter any more. What seemed to matter SO SO much 6 months ago or 10 years ago, just seems so trivial in comparison to my call to be a godly wife and mother. My success is not defined by what we do in the world or how many people know our name. I'm not a success if 15 people comment on my facebook status. I am a success if I devote my life to the Lord and my family.

I don't want to waste ANY opportunity I have to spend time doing stuff with my husband and kids. So you won't find me at my desk anymore. I've neglected my foster care agency and personal friends by not returning emails or facebook comments because I sorely detest the computer. My mom has asked me why I haven't returned her emails. I have a blackberry, right? My husband asks me why the pictures haven't been uploaded from Gabe's birthday almost 4 weeks ago.

Its because I'm a stay at home mom. If my kids are awake, I want to be doing stuff with them. I'm sorry, but NOTHING and NOONE matters to me as much as this family. I have less than 4 years left before Hannah is a legal adult. My toddlers are 2 or almost 2 already. Time is a vapor I am trying to hold in my hands, and its impossible. So if Hannah wants me to put rollers in or french braid her hair every night at 11:30PM, then I'll do it. If Ella wants to lay against my chest like a baby for 20 minutes and doze off before lunch, excellent. If Tara wants to go with me to Hobby Lobby for 2 hours just to look around, then alright. If Gabe wants to hold my hand and read the same book over and over and over again, then I am blessed. One day these kids will be on their own, and I can write, blog, facebook, photograph, instant message, clean, shower, watch movies, or take baths til I get my fill. But for now, I am making memories.

Phil Keoghan (Host of The Amazing Race) had a near death experience at age 19. When he was revived, he sat down and made a life list of things he wanted to accomplish before he died. It seemed to be a lot of danger-buzz sort of activities, like bungee jump, climb Mt. Everest, etc. And he did many of these things.

Then his daughter was born. And he was less worried about the list. He realized that the "life list" may look different for a parent than a single guy. His life list was now making every opportunity count for his wife and daughter.

I've never forgotten about his story (NOW- No Opportunity Wasted is now a book and a Discovery show). But now it REALLY makes sense.

I am blessed with an amazing family. I don't know why other things got in the way of being the wife/mother they deserve. It wasn't that I didn't love them, it was that I was blinded by what the world says is important for a woman, which is to become a success, to make a difference, to matter to people. The blinders are off. I will not let ANYTHING get in the way of me being on the floor or on the couch with my kids anymore.