Bless This Blog To The Nourishment of Our...

I found out recently that there is a blog (or several) devoted entirely to bashing a well-known blogger. I knew there were sites with the similar name devoted to a couple of families from The Learning Channel that just tears them to pieces. The kids are wearing second-hand shoes...what a disgrace. The last kid was a micro-preemie. The mom is in another state doing a TV show. "She should stay at home and raise her 'damn' kids." Since when are kids a curse?

It was a fight against my flesh to go check out the blogger-bashing site, and my spirit won...for about 2 weeks. And then I gave in and read it for 5 minutes. And I became so ill, I almost vomited. I was so nauseous for almost an hour, and I am the kind of girl who can watch brain surgery while I eat spaghetti. I like autopsies. It is hard to sicken me. But the hatred was so blaring, I could not believe I actually live in this world. Why do we hate? Why do we pick people apart?

Since that day, I have been so convicted. In the past year, I have shut myself off from gossipers and chronic complainers because of the affect it has on me. You know how sometimes when you talk to someone who is really negative (even if it is in a joking fashion and there is a lot of laughing), you just feel dirty? I've shut myself off from it to keep myself from doing it to others.

So reading that blog for just a couple of minutes has made me feel like I waded through a sewer. I cant get the crap off of me. It weighs me down. I am frightened that people are THAT mean.

And one thing ALL of these sisterhood sites have in common is attacking Christ-believing families. I have noticed that when believers say they are working on an aspect of their behavior, habits, thought life, or spirituality, people will watch them like a hawk for failure. Which is exactly what these sites are about. If a lady shares frugal advice on her blog every Monday and then is caught eating at an elite restaurant, she's bashed. They call them "inconsistencies." I fully believe if she had never given testimony to her attempt to be frugal, it would never be an issue where she ate.

I think this is why our society has come to take so much pressure in being bad. "I'm a B****. Deal with it." There is no accountability in that. No vulnerability. Just be mean, and no one can ever call you a failure or a hypocrite. Its like we are a society of drop-outs. If you are afraid you might get made fun of if you run funny, then refuse to dress out in PE and take the F. If you want to be accepted, just say what everyone else is saying, and then you won't have to worry about managing their expectations of you.

I'm really frightened about our world. It is like we are still 14 and trying to form our identity. We want to be accepted. We want blog hits. We want followers. Therefore, we refrain from saying what matters, we refuse to take a stand on ANYTHING of virtue because someone might de-friend us on facebook. So be it! I got defriended recently, probably because I don't measure up, and I am so okay with it. Chalk it up to incompatibility and move on. I don't serve that person. I serve the King of Kings. Do I like them less? Absolutely not!

So what are people taking a stand on? BE GREEN! Ok, that's easy. Who is against being green? Hard to be vulnerable there. I LOVE NATURE! I LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY! But what about our spiritual walks?

Want to know what I believe?

Children are a blessing and abortion is wrong.

Its selfish to say you would foster parent but it would be too hard on YOU.

I think it is "NORMAL" (not abnormal or weird) if I spend every ounce of my energy on my family. I can do everything else 20 years from now. My family is first and everything else can wait.

If you say you would love to have another child or adopt but you can't afford it...and you are living above poverty level, then you are probably making things more important than human life. I know some people shouldn't be raising kids (or more kids)...this is my opinion about the financial excuse people give. I didn't think I could afford it, but I stepped out in faith and I am about to adopt for the third time...with NO debt for adoption expenses.

So is it okay if I say those things?

Maybe I should take a 5 question test before I push "publish" on my posts:

1) Do I really believe everything I wrote here? Yes
2) Did I gloss this over to make it politically correct? No
3) Am I grown up enough to take criticism about my thoughts and feelings even if I get ambushed? (MY THOUGHTS & FEELINGS ARE VALID...repeat 40x) Yes. I won't budge.
4) Did I leave out the details that would implicate myself? No. I made it clear I am in gossip rehab and I used to think I couldn't afford to adopt, too.
5) Am I fluffing to avoid accountability? Do I always write a short story, magazine article, or produce a photo book on my blog instead of saying something of substance? Well, I do those things, too, but I do try to put it all out there. Now everyone can start watching me for my "inconsistencies."

I understand that we have to be V*E*R*Y careful not to scourge others, which is a good reason not to get into details on a public venue, even if our thoughts and feelings are valid. I understand fully that foster/adoptive parents need to protect the identities and confidentiality of their kiddos and the birth parents. I understand I need to ask myself, "Would I want Gabe reading what I wrote about his special needs 15 years from now?" But seriously.

If you make a stand against nothing, then you have made a stand against everything.

Let me tell you this. I was never a fan of the blogger who is getting all the hate sites. I never "got it." But I admire the tenacity to continue blogging on, knowing that later that day there will be 47 hits on hate blogs that dissect every single word she says. God bless her.